...a renewal of vows to the Lover of my Soul
So yesterday...during church...I stood up because I prayed to Christ to save me. It's hard to explain but before I did the I was ridden with doubt of whether or not I knew Christ and if I'd prayed that prayer of surrender before.
The truth is that I vaguely remember being a young kid, possibly about 7 or 8 and being in my parents bedroom and just believing in Christ because my Dad told me about Him. It wasn't until high school when I moved to South Carolina that I really saw what it was to live for Him. I moved to a town that was in the Bible belt and not so fast paced, I come from Houston, so it wasn't hard to slow down.
I lived life and Christ was very real to me. I experienced His truth and His leanings. I walked with Him.
Then last week I went to church and a haunting image was brought up. Judas...he hung out in Christ's presence for 3 years...and still betrayed Him. Also the week before my mom stood up in church and prayed a prayer of sacrifice and repentance. I've looked up to her so much in my life and to see her display humility and stand, really rocked me to my core.
The week went by and I read things about how Christ can be the love of your life. When I thought of my life I thought of how it was chaotic and how I was chasing people and habits to make me whole. It didn't match up with scripture. I was confused.
So last Monday...or Tuesday...either way early last week, I talked to God and cried out my heart to Him and said that if He wanted me to stand up I needed to be open to it. If He wanted me to "march around my own Jericho" I would.
Then last night, as I sit in my seat...right next to my best friend in the whole world. I felt God's obvious knock on my heart. It was time to stand.
I can't really explain what has happened in me since then but I feel like my heart was power washed of all the disgusting grime and I'm free. I'm peaceful and renewed. I'm not sure what happened before last night as for my relationship with Christ, but He definitely was calling me to swallow my pride and take a stand for Him. It'd be foolish to not comply.
I pray that my life looks different now. I pray that habits I found myself running to are gone. I pray for freedom. I pray that this radical act of obedience blessed my Father in Heaven and now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be with Him some day. My His Glory be boldly displayed in this redeemed sinner. If this is what it took for my relationship with Christ to go to the next level and for me to be fully satisfied in Him...then I'm so grateful that He gave me the courage to surrender to His grace and goodness.
I hope you find a peace that passes all understanding when you think about your Father in Heaven smiling on you and being with you for all your days here on earth and then an eternity in Heaven.